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Patience in the Waiting

I heard from a friend, “Nothing that’s important and special is easy. For any of us. Accepting that it is hard is a good first step. Beats giving in and giving up. “ Nothing that is important or that is special is easy. It also doesn't have to be so hard. I know that with love most people won't come to me, or to anyone that is single, or has been for awhile. But in my singleness, apart from some times of envy or lust or being impatient, I've learned so many different things about love itself and what I want love to be for me one day.

I have had countless hours of self reflection and deciding what's best and worst for me. I have also spent hours telling myself that some things might be okay, that I've already done so much, and have been so patient. I ask myself “Well if they are doing this, why can't i?” I get confused on why I am doing this to myself, why I am being patient. Most days are hard, it's hard to be patient with what is most exciting about life. It'd be exciting living it with someone by your side. But Patience is important because yes there are people out there, but there is only one person meant for you. One person you are supposed to live your life with.

Time will grow beautiful things. Despite having a majority of bad days, I stay steady by keeping myself busy. You’re still going to get to a point in time where you do find yourself in a relationship, the time before, while you're not is what will matter when you do find yourself in one. You can get there forced, where all your free time was spent envying and looking, or you can work on yourself and qualities you'll know will elevate your relationship above the rest. Strengthen who you are as a person to meet a great person where they're at.

It’s important that you love yourself and will be able to understand why you're loved and pursued as much as you hopefully will be in a relationship. I am at a time where with self love I also have more bad days then good, but as I push, and get punched by my closest friends for putting myself down, I am starting to understand that I am beautiful. Fleshly beauty will only go so far, and only matters so much. What will matter is those qualities in which any person can strengthen. A heart full of love and understanding is worth more than someone who will look good next to you to worldly eyes.

At the end of the day, patience and knowing that the second you truly put it in God’s hand, it will all be fine, is the way to go. I always end prayers that subject love with another person acknowledging that I give it to him every time. That no matter the times I do fall into head spaces where I overthink and over-analyze, self-sabotage, I go back to remembering where my faith needs to lie. When I am finally with that person, I hope to be proud of my past. No matter how long it takes, it’ll be worth it.

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