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Butterfly, fly

To my oldest sister Vannessa, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hard to believe that you’re 28 now! Not that I’ve watched you grow up since you were small, but since I was small, I have had the honor and blessing to have you to look up to. My first and truest 2nd Mom, my first and truest best friend and easily the person I want to make proud most. This year is a bittersweet one, to the seemingly most deserving person I know, you’ve had to receive the most difficult grief this past year. Miscarriage. I can’t stress enough how badly my heart broke for you, and I can’t stress enough how much I love you. 

I have had you in my life for its entirety! You helped take care of me as a baby, you looked after me and my brothers, you helped mom look after the house, helped get us to school in the mornings, helped support us financially many different times, in many different ways. You have led a life of catering to the needs of others, to the feelings of others, no matter how it made you feel. I want to thank you for that, for being a person I can always count on. For having a pure and fragile heart that feels all the feelings, that only gives love. I know that especially in the past it didn't seem to be appreciated, but coming to a time where I can reflect on my life, and yours, I will never be able to say thank you enough. 

I pray that 28 is a blessed year for you. That you continue to be such a giving person while being able to stay happy yourself. That you continue to treat your body with such respect. That you and your girls make even more happy memories. That you continue to trust in the Lord, through the good times and the bad, when everything else rushing through your mind wants you to be confused and angry, that you find peace knowing what he has planned is better than what you may have planned or desired for your life. 

I hope that each time you see the butterflies all around you, you remember what you have to look forward to that comes with living a life of selflessness and devotion to the Lord. The pieces may never fully fall in place for why you lost Emilia, but one thing’s for certain, she’s met with Grandpa and they’re in Heaven, ready to see you again.

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